NFP Q & A
My husband and I have been practicing NFP/cycle tracking/noncontraception within our marriage for over a year and a half now. It's crazy that we've been married for that long! Many of you know that I began tracking my cycle in high school, so it has been part of my life for the better half of a decade. It gives me a different perspective than many wives who only started because it was advertised as a pregnancy regulator, when in reality it is so much more.
In honor of NFP Awareness Week, I'm doing a piece with input from Jordan based on typical questions and ones that people have asked us. Side note: NFP, charting, and tracking are going to be used interchangeably in this article. A generalized definition is: documenting a woman's menstrual cycle using biological markers for the purpose of gynecological health, avoiding/achieving pregnancy, and contributing to the overall wellbeing of the woman and of a marriage by fostering an atmosphere of openness, communication, and intimacy.
Q: What are the benefits to charting as a single woman?
A: (Mikaela) I really got to know my body in a really personal way. Tracking my cycle before I got married helped me to get ahead of my PMS and serious menstrual cramping, which helped to lessen their severity. I've been able to accurately predict when my period will be come for years now. It also aided my health care providers in figuring out hormone deficiencies that I didn't know I had, and from there to assist in the treatment of those deficiencies. In addition, NFP was a really good exercise in self-discipline as a teen and young adult prior to marriage. The other big thing is having this knowledge about yourself and this type of lifestyle. There are so many things to learn when you are newly married, and having charting under my belt definitely eased the transition into marriage.
Q: Are there resources that you have found helpful throughout your time practicing NFP?
A: (Mikaela) Since choosing to be chaste prior to marriage can be a lonely road to walk, the NFP community was a comforting reminder that I'm not really alone. It still is! It's nice to read blogs from other women who practice NFP/charting. It's especially helpful for me to be reminded of the health and relational benefits of charting and not using any form of contraceptive (whether you're sexually active or not). Not only that, but I truly feel that it has bonded me to my girl friends in such a unique way, too! It's so nice to have other women to discuss it with. I added a couple links to some good blogs below*. NFP coaches/practitioners are very helpful in learning and practicing the lifestyle that is Natural Family Planning. The Sioux Falls Catholic Diocese has a page with local practitioners here, and a general overview of the different methods.
(Jordan) Talking with other people who have done/do NFP is helpful. It helps to know we aren't the only ones who do it.
Q: How has NFP affected your marriage?
A: (Jordan) It allows me to know what's going on with Mikaela's body.
(Mikaela) There is nothing we don't talk about. Our communication is really strong because we have to constantly be talking about a very intimate part of me and our marriage. We might be tracking my bodily signs, but the fertility, intimacy and marriage is ours. There is so much more teamwork and ownership over our sex life, mutual goals, and our relationship in general. I have to say that it is really nice to have Jordan be so in tune to my cycle that he is pretty aware of when I'm ovulating, PMSing, and am on my period.
Q: What don't you like about charting?
A: (Jordan) It can make things too technical as far as sex goes. We know when we "should" have sex and often go off of that instead of just letting it happen.
(Mikaela) I agree with Jordan in that sometimes, because we are trying to have a baby, sex can feel like an obligation. The sex is still great, but it just makes it a little weird sometimes.
I would also say that, for me, NFP can be hard because I just want to be lazy sometimes! I don't always want to pay attention to mucus when I go to the bathroom or chart at the end of the day. Even though I've been doing it for a long time, it still takes discipline. I also tend to overanalyze, so charting can often be an exercise in self-confidence.
Q: How has NFP impacted your life?
A: (Jordan) It helps you understand the inner workings of a woman's body, and how you don't need medications to just change it, because it's already perfect.
(Mikaela) From a practical standpoint, it has saved us lots of money because we don't have to purchase condoms, the Pill, or other contraceptive devices. It has also helped me to foster a deep passion for women's health and for strengthening marriages.
I could go on and on about NFP, but I really feel like the best way to explain it all is by having one on one conversations about it. I think that deep down, the reason most people have for not using this method of family planning and health technique is that it takes too much self-control. While I certainly understand that keeping yourself under control is tough, we impress it upon ourselves for other things. We can stick to diets, exercise regimens, medication schedules, road rules, and work hours. Why can't we apply that to our gynecological and sexual health?
Tracking your cycle is so empowering. We learn about the male and female body in science, but we really only ever scratch the surface! It's so beautiful how God created our body and how we function to have so many different facets that are all connected in some way. God wants us to love ourselves, and that means loving our bodies. Cervical mucus included.
*https://lifeteen.com/blog/im-single-love-nfp-heres/
*https://somethingprettyblog.com/2018/07/26/honest-perspectives-natural-family-planning/
Q: What are the benefits to charting as a single woman?
A: (Mikaela) I really got to know my body in a really personal way. Tracking my cycle before I got married helped me to get ahead of my PMS and serious menstrual cramping, which helped to lessen their severity. I've been able to accurately predict when my period will be come for years now. It also aided my health care providers in figuring out hormone deficiencies that I didn't know I had, and from there to assist in the treatment of those deficiencies. In addition, NFP was a really good exercise in self-discipline as a teen and young adult prior to marriage. The other big thing is having this knowledge about yourself and this type of lifestyle. There are so many things to learn when you are newly married, and having charting under my belt definitely eased the transition into marriage.
Q: Are there resources that you have found helpful throughout your time practicing NFP?
A: (Mikaela) Since choosing to be chaste prior to marriage can be a lonely road to walk, the NFP community was a comforting reminder that I'm not really alone. It still is! It's nice to read blogs from other women who practice NFP/charting. It's especially helpful for me to be reminded of the health and relational benefits of charting and not using any form of contraceptive (whether you're sexually active or not). Not only that, but I truly feel that it has bonded me to my girl friends in such a unique way, too! It's so nice to have other women to discuss it with. I added a couple links to some good blogs below*. NFP coaches/practitioners are very helpful in learning and practicing the lifestyle that is Natural Family Planning. The Sioux Falls Catholic Diocese has a page with local practitioners here, and a general overview of the different methods.
(Jordan) Talking with other people who have done/do NFP is helpful. It helps to know we aren't the only ones who do it.
Q: How has NFP affected your marriage?
A: (Jordan) It allows me to know what's going on with Mikaela's body.
(Mikaela) There is nothing we don't talk about. Our communication is really strong because we have to constantly be talking about a very intimate part of me and our marriage. We might be tracking my bodily signs, but the fertility, intimacy and marriage is ours. There is so much more teamwork and ownership over our sex life, mutual goals, and our relationship in general. I have to say that it is really nice to have Jordan be so in tune to my cycle that he is pretty aware of when I'm ovulating, PMSing, and am on my period.
Q: What don't you like about charting?
A: (Jordan) It can make things too technical as far as sex goes. We know when we "should" have sex and often go off of that instead of just letting it happen.
(Mikaela) I agree with Jordan in that sometimes, because we are trying to have a baby, sex can feel like an obligation. The sex is still great, but it just makes it a little weird sometimes.
I would also say that, for me, NFP can be hard because I just want to be lazy sometimes! I don't always want to pay attention to mucus when I go to the bathroom or chart at the end of the day. Even though I've been doing it for a long time, it still takes discipline. I also tend to overanalyze, so charting can often be an exercise in self-confidence.
Q: How has NFP impacted your life?
A: (Jordan) It helps you understand the inner workings of a woman's body, and how you don't need medications to just change it, because it's already perfect.
(Mikaela) From a practical standpoint, it has saved us lots of money because we don't have to purchase condoms, the Pill, or other contraceptive devices. It has also helped me to foster a deep passion for women's health and for strengthening marriages.
I could go on and on about NFP, but I really feel like the best way to explain it all is by having one on one conversations about it. I think that deep down, the reason most people have for not using this method of family planning and health technique is that it takes too much self-control. While I certainly understand that keeping yourself under control is tough, we impress it upon ourselves for other things. We can stick to diets, exercise regimens, medication schedules, road rules, and work hours. Why can't we apply that to our gynecological and sexual health?
Tracking your cycle is so empowering. We learn about the male and female body in science, but we really only ever scratch the surface! It's so beautiful how God created our body and how we function to have so many different facets that are all connected in some way. God wants us to love ourselves, and that means loving our bodies. Cervical mucus included.
*https://lifeteen.com/blog/im-single-love-nfp-heres/
*https://somethingprettyblog.com/2018/07/26/honest-perspectives-natural-family-planning/
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