Christ, Coffee, and Cornfields

  Jordan and I ventured out with our little miracle into the snow this morning to see the movie "I Still Believe." There were all of 10 people in the theater so I'm not concerned about getting sick. For those who don't know, "I Still Believe" is a movie about Jeremy Camp and his first wife's love story, how he became so well known, and how God worked through it all. Jordan and I have always loved Jeremy Camp, so when I heard the movie was coming out we made plans to see it. We both enjoyed it, and of course I cried. I would have even if I wasn't pregnant. I would say that it may not be nearly as enjoyable to a person who doesn't care for Jeremy Camp, though. Then again, it may be more powerful; I don't know. Either way, I would recommend seeing it. The most striking undertone, in my opinion, was how well they portrayed them living out their marital vows. Jeremy truly laid his life down for his wife, Melissa. It was beautiful. Marriage in it...

  We have just begun National Infertility Awareness Week, and I thought I'd start it off with telling our story. I've written about our journey within other posts, but this time I'm going to dedicate an entire piece to it. Infertility definitely has the hush factor surrounding it, and it's important to me to break the stigma and to help foster a dialogue. We aren't looking for pity or anything like that; we just want people to be aware that this cross is very real to more couples than you realize.   When Jordan and I got married in December of 2017, we told ourselves that we were going to try to avoid conceiving, at least for a little while, till we could get settled into being married. At the same time, though, we would have been overjoyed at being gifted a child. That's what we told ourselves, anyway. If you look at what our intimacy timing actually was though, we were definitely not trying to avoid getting pregnant. So every month, I was keenly aware that m...

  This morning, I was thinking about one of the Gospel readings this week that talked about separating sheep from goats because of what they did for others during their life. Today's first reading discusses how our eternal destination is not determined by whether or not the good we've done outweighs the bad. It's a matter of if you turn away from evil and seek good. It's determined on if you follow Jesus with both your words and your works, or if you turn away from those things. Jesus saved us, and by His Grace the doors of Heaven are opened to us, but we make the choice of if we get to walk through the pearly gates. Luckily, the Lord basically spells out what we need to do. One of the resources He gives us are the Corporal Works of Mercy.   All of the Corporal Works of Mercy have to do with the body. Most of them are pretty straightforward, but there are unique ways to do all of them. I'll go through each of the 7 individually, and how it applies to us today: ...

  It's been two weeks since my hash-out with God. Two weeks. The stark contrast in my life is absolutely incredible. Sure, I still struggle with things, but it's way more manageable now. My mom even said that I visibly look different; it's like I'm glowing. A recharge in faith has that effect on a person.   I know that if you've never experienced a Saul to Paul moment, it may be difficult to comprehend what I mean by all of this talk about being changed. So....I have an analogy! We serve a God who also wants to be our best friend. Now, this concept has always been a little difficult for me to grasp because God is not quantifiable the way humans are. But I keep on trying at this relationship, anyway.  Everyone has had a miscommunication at some point with somebody you love, whether it's your best friend, spouse, coworker, child, or sibling. I know I have. It's such a crummy feeling. Like you want to say something but don't know what to say or how to say...

  This is probably going to be my most vulnerable piece yet, so hang on to your hats....   I'm really good at acting like I have it all together. When people ask me how life is going, I almost never say how I'm actually feeling. Usually, I say life is crazy but it's all good, when in reality I'm a complete disaster. I actually started going to counseling because I just couldn't handle the weight of everything anymore. Nearly every day I contemplate running away....Jordan usually has to get me out of bed in the mornings because I don't have the drive to do it myself....I don't always eat or bathe or even get up to go to the bathroom when I should because I feel so sad and alone and dead. My heart has been so restless. I don't want to be home or at work or anywhere else. I can't read anymore. I can barely sit through a movie. I don't remember how it feels to be my normal self.   The past couple days have really brought things to a head. We got ...

  If challenging situations do anything for me, they give me writing material. Per my last post, my Grandpa passed away recently, and today we buried him. The past 10 hours or so have been exhausting, tear-soaked, and painful. The funeral and burial were beautiful and fitting. If you have ever experienced a military funeral, you'll know what I mean when I say it was very powerful and moving. I am honored to be descended from a man who served our country for decades. Anyway, this post isn't really about today so much as what today's celebration (yes, I will call it that) points to.   Life doesn't stop. We always say how quickly life moves, whether it's in reference to an anniversary, a graduation, or a birthday. Our time on Earth is full of milestones and moments, things to celebrate and times to reflect on. The Catholic Faith is all about celebrating; if we can party, we will party. As difficult and painful as funerals are, I always find peace in them because a ...

  It’s really hard to quantify the feelings running through my body at this moment in time. Every death hits you differently, and this is no exception. Many of you know that my maternal grandpa unexpectedly passed away yesterday. He had terminal cancer originating from his lungs (PLEASE don’t smoke, people), but what killed him was a blood clot. I won’t go into detail into which hospital or the exact care he received, but let’s just say as his granddaughter and a nurse, I’m currently not a happy camper. There are so many things that I had planned to do and say, but I never got the chance to do any of them. Those are the regrets I have. So many regrets.   Many relationships go through ups and downs, and ours was no different. Unfortunately, we were in the in the middle of a slump where we’d get somewhere and then slide back down to the bottom of the dip. I know that I’ll go through the stages of grief in my own time, but as this moment I’m a total wreck. Praise Jesus for my w...

  I don't think I ever fully realized until yesterday how much I appreciate that Jordan and I share our Catholic Faith. Ever since we started our relationship, faith has been central so it isn't that I never noticed the importance or didn't appreciate it; believe me, I am beyond thankful for it! But Jordan said something yesterday that was very simple but it spoke straight into my heart.   We were sitting in his truck when he said, "Tomorrow is Transfiguration Sunday!"   Yep. That's it. All he did was mention that today is a major feast in the Church. It sounds like a really simple exchange, but it made me realize just how important sharing our Faith is. One could say it transfigured my outlook on the subject.   I have always felt like a nut or a nerd because I love my faith and know a fair amount about it. Nobody in high school shared my excitement when an awesome saint's feast day would come up, very few made the effort to go to Mass on Holy Days,...