Christ, Coffee, and Cornfields

 God definitely knew what He was doing when he blessed us with Baby 3 being born in October. It's given us the gift of a new baby throughout Advent and Christmas. It has really forced me to slow down during a time when everything around me is loud and busy.  Nowadays, Americans seem to think that women bounce back a few weeks after giving birth and are up to their normal speed of life shortly thereafter. For most women I know, myself included, that is not the case. Not only is my body still not back to pre-pregnancy caliber, I'm taking care of a young baby along with two other children. And it's the holiday season. I. Am. Tired.  To be fair, I have substantially more energy and movement potential than I did while pregnant. In that regard, I want to be able to do more. And I do. On the other hand, I'm in the throes of postpartum brain fog, so my ability to focus has been less than stellar. One point where I have been able to put focus on, however, is being still.  ...

   It's been a hot minute since I've written anything....becoming a parent warps your sense of time, I tell ya what! These past few months have been nothing short of magical, though. Being a mom is something I've wanted and prayed for for basically my entire life, and so far it has exceeded my expectations. It helps that our daughter is basically a perfect baby and Jordan is the best husband and dad ever, but still. I know that many women have a difficult time being new moms, and I do not take my experience for granted in the slightest. This is basically going to be a quick rundown of what I've gone through since I last wrote, so snuggle in and enjoy!   First of all, the last month or so of my pregnancy was very uncomfortable. My nausea/vomiting resurrected itself (I don't want Chinese food for a veeeerrrryyyy long time now) and I felt like an elephant. I also had constant Braxton Hicks, which was fine except I was basically psyching myself out every few days, think...

"It'll happen." That is currently by far my most despised saying (followed closely by "get wrecked," but that's a story for another day). I can't tell you how many people have told Jordan and me that. Now, I know that everyone who says it to us means well, but when you're experiencing infertility it isn't something that brings much comfort. Not for me. I'm not writing this to hurt anybody's feelings or to lash out at anyone who has offered consolation to us, at least I don't think so. I don't know, it's really difficult to describe my feelings. One minute I'll be ready to curl up in bed and cry myself to sleep, another I'll rationalize myself into being okay with not being pregnant, and the next I'll be so confused and upset that my prayer up to God becomes more of a shouting match which gets drowned out by the continual questions in my mind. Why us? Why is my body so confusing? Why can't I get a grip? Wi...