Christ, Coffee, and Cornfields

  Want to know a secret? I struggle with confidence. A lot. Blame it on the stresses of nursing school or deep seeded trust issues or just a general feeling of not being good enough, but being confident in myself and my abilities is a real problem for me. I have this facade of confidence most of the time because overall I'm a positive person....except when it comes to me.   I've been mulling over this issue for awhile, especially now that essentially all I have left in nursing school is my preceptor hours and two days of class with as many tests. Basically, the only way I can not pass nursing school is if I kill someone, break HIPAA, not adhere to rules I've been following all year, or bomb these two tests. From what I understand, it's really really hard to fail this last little chunk of nursing school. But what do I do? Start to majorly worry that I won't pass those tests and all my work will be for nothing and I won't be able to graduate and my life will be ...

  I know it's not New Year's yet, but I've been reflecting quite a bit over 2016 lately. Sometimes I think people get a little OD'd on all of the posts that come around January 1, and occasionally all of the resolution and reflection can get overwhelming. With finals week upon me, learning to split holidays between my family and Jordan's, wedding planning, the election ruckus that keeps coming up on my news feed, and the tragedy that just struck Sioux Falls fresh in my head, my mind has been racing in all sorts of directions.   You know, worry and depression are best friends. I swear they go together better than peanut butter and jelly. It's an unfortunate thing that negatives come in pairs, and Satan loves to unleash them together, especially around the holidays. His other favorites are tragedy and despair, along with failure and unforgiveness (especially of one's self). Sometimes the devil's pets travel in packs, seeking to prey on the vulnerable. On...

  Jordan is always telling me to not worry about "what ifs." I tend to overthink things (I know, shocker), so his constant reminding me to live in today and not tomorrow is needed. Sometimes I get into a rut of negative thinking that is made up of "what if" scenarios that are silly to be concerned about because we can't magically reach into tomorrow and change anything, if it's even there to be changed to begin with.   What if we don't find a photographer for our wedding?   What if I'm not smart enough to be a nurse?   What if we can't have children?   What if Jordan or my family dies in a car crash?   What if our house starts on fire?   What if I accidentally filled in the wrong bubble on my ballot when I voted?!   My excuse for these thoughts is that, technically speaking, all of these situations are feasible. These things could happen. We live in an absolutely broken world, which isn't how the Lord wanted it, but he...