My Experience with Cosmo
Whenever I go grocery shopping and I see Cosmopolitan Magazine on the shelf, I flip it so that nobody will have the temptation to have wandering eyes at the nearly naked woman on the front cover. It's an injustice to expose anyone to a possible occasion of sin, so I flip them. Well, today Cosmo and its atrocities got delivered to my front door.
My dad owns a business, and lately we have been receiving magazines that we have not ever subscribed to. We think they're for his office to entertain customers as they wait, but nonetheless these magazines have shown up at our house uninvited. Today, curiosity got the better of me and I decided to take a peek at what is actually inside Cosmo's covers before throwing it away. I wanted to know if it is really full of the trash I assumed it was...I was right! Immediately as I opened to the first page, I was assaulted by odors that I can only assume are meant to be used as a tool to lure men into the bedroom. I found them rather atrocious and almost threw up all over the living room, but that's beside the point. I didn't waste my time or brain cells reading the articles in their entirety, but it was pretty easy to get the gist by scanning and looking at the headings. There was a Q & A about those sex questions a person never wants to ask, advice on what sorts of clothes to wear, and embarrassing stories about readers' romances, among other things. Of course, scattered throughout the pages were photos of scantily clad men and women (mostly women), as well as ads for IUDs. It was quite appalling and disheartening. They were all things that I wasn't surprised to see, but it still upset me. Now, why would I even open this magazine in the first place?
I wanted to know if secular culture is as bad as I thought it was. Unfortunately, it is.
What I found in Cosmopolitan was the enemy's way of twisting our sexuality and way men and women are called to love. It's that simple. Satan meddles with our desire to be loved and accepted. He seeks to satisfy our curiosity in a way that leaves us searching for more of what will leave us empty. I don't think that the producers of Cosmo realize this, but they are the perfect pawns to advance the devil's agenda.
Women as a whole struggle with insecurity. Cosmo has done a great job marketing false security of the world of sex, it really has! What they fail to realize is that this cheapened version of love actually will cause greater insecurity. Cosmo validates pornography, immodesty, and test drive sex. They make authentic love seem like something archaic, not something to strive for. It's like the love we're made for is dead. But it's not; authentic, holy, married love is very much alive!
As an engaged to be married virgin, there is a lot that I have to learn about married love. I'm curious about sex. I'm nervous to unveil myself to Jordan because I've never given myself to anyone in that way before. But what's different about the real love God calls us to is that within this sort of love is confidence and security that stems from it being a gift from God. Marital love that follows the Lord's plan is filled with safety, passion, and a lack of fear.
Because Jordan and I are saving the most intimate acts of love for after our wedding, we eliminate any fear of rejection or being left by someone we gave everything to. We're best friends and so anything that we could ever do, in the bedroom or anywhere else, that might be embarrassing isn't a big deal. We both have totally biffed it in front of each other, and while it is embarrassing we laugh and help each other up again. It becomes a memory we share. When we have food on our face, we help each other wipe it off. Our embarrassing and vulnerable moments are not used as a way to keep score or to hold it against each other. In fact, they are the perfect opportunity to show our love. I mean, let's be honest; humans are full of imperfection and life is made of plenty of less than awesome moments. We all want someone who has our back no matter what and will always be ready to shower us with love and care.
Cosmo had oodles and oodles of fashion advice, one of which was showing lots of skin to enhance your sex appeal. Here's what I saw: LADIES! GET NAKED SO YOU CAN BE ATTRACTIVE. Okay, maybe it wasn't quite that extreme, but it sure was close! The message was that showing lots of skin is attractive to men and will grab the attention of a guy who will love you. That sort of advice is extremely off base. Jordan has told me on more than one occasion that he likes the way I dress and finds me attractive no matter what. I believe him, and I dress in a way that respects my body while bringing out my femininity. Heaven forbid Cosmo found out, but my lover thinks I'm sexy with clothes on! Who would have thought?! Modesty is the bigger draw to men that will love you in a selflessly forever sort of way.
The other main issue I have with Cosmopolitan is how they make a commodity out of sex. That is, they condone porn as a natural need for men and test drive sex is a normal part of dating. Both of these are horrendous lies. Porn is not a need. It is an exploitation of those in the industry and of the consumers. While it is true that men have a natural desire to be loved physically (and the visual aspects that go with it), that need is best met through knowing and loving one woman to the fullest extent. Jordan's need to love me as his beloved is met best within marriage because it frees us. He can see, touch, and feel me. I'm not a generated or airbrushed image on a screen. I'm a person that he can give himself to sexually, but I can also meet his need to listen when he's upset, make him food when he's hungry, create children with him when God calls us to make a family, and hold him when he's hurting. Those are needs that porn will never fill. The fact that Cosmo condones the consumption of porn even within a relationship is simply ludicrous.
Test drive sex is an idea that initially makes sense until you actually start to think about it. Then it becomes unthinkable. First of all, humans aren't cars. Second of all, sex is something you're constantly getting better at. It's a journey that is meant to be explored and taken with one person, your spouse. I wouldn't want to marry someone who had this philosophy throughout their dating experience and wonder if they're comparing our bedroom experience to the ones he has had in the past. It leads to great insecurity within a marriage, which is an institution that is not meant to have any insecurity. Jordan and I see these things the same way, which has made our vocational journey so much easier! By not taking each other for a "test drive," we've found so many other ways to love each other that will carry over into our marriage. We have found that hand holding and kisses on the nose, cheek, and forehead convey an insane amount of love. The best part is we can do it in public! The fact is, a majority of human life is spent not having sex. It actually takes up a very small percentage of your time. That's why it's so important to explore with your significant other the different and unique ways to express the love you share that don't require getting naked. Jordan and I love to use music to bond and worship the Lord. That's special to us and grows our love for each other and for God. If only Cosmo had that sort of relationship advice.
Basically, this has been a vent post in which I tried to use my experience with secular advice to shine a light on how amazing marital love is meant to be. Thanks for reading!
My dad owns a business, and lately we have been receiving magazines that we have not ever subscribed to. We think they're for his office to entertain customers as they wait, but nonetheless these magazines have shown up at our house uninvited. Today, curiosity got the better of me and I decided to take a peek at what is actually inside Cosmo's covers before throwing it away. I wanted to know if it is really full of the trash I assumed it was...I was right! Immediately as I opened to the first page, I was assaulted by odors that I can only assume are meant to be used as a tool to lure men into the bedroom. I found them rather atrocious and almost threw up all over the living room, but that's beside the point. I didn't waste my time or brain cells reading the articles in their entirety, but it was pretty easy to get the gist by scanning and looking at the headings. There was a Q & A about those sex questions a person never wants to ask, advice on what sorts of clothes to wear, and embarrassing stories about readers' romances, among other things. Of course, scattered throughout the pages were photos of scantily clad men and women (mostly women), as well as ads for IUDs. It was quite appalling and disheartening. They were all things that I wasn't surprised to see, but it still upset me. Now, why would I even open this magazine in the first place?
I wanted to know if secular culture is as bad as I thought it was. Unfortunately, it is.
What I found in Cosmopolitan was the enemy's way of twisting our sexuality and way men and women are called to love. It's that simple. Satan meddles with our desire to be loved and accepted. He seeks to satisfy our curiosity in a way that leaves us searching for more of what will leave us empty. I don't think that the producers of Cosmo realize this, but they are the perfect pawns to advance the devil's agenda.
Women as a whole struggle with insecurity. Cosmo has done a great job marketing false security of the world of sex, it really has! What they fail to realize is that this cheapened version of love actually will cause greater insecurity. Cosmo validates pornography, immodesty, and test drive sex. They make authentic love seem like something archaic, not something to strive for. It's like the love we're made for is dead. But it's not; authentic, holy, married love is very much alive!
As an engaged to be married virgin, there is a lot that I have to learn about married love. I'm curious about sex. I'm nervous to unveil myself to Jordan because I've never given myself to anyone in that way before. But what's different about the real love God calls us to is that within this sort of love is confidence and security that stems from it being a gift from God. Marital love that follows the Lord's plan is filled with safety, passion, and a lack of fear.
Because Jordan and I are saving the most intimate acts of love for after our wedding, we eliminate any fear of rejection or being left by someone we gave everything to. We're best friends and so anything that we could ever do, in the bedroom or anywhere else, that might be embarrassing isn't a big deal. We both have totally biffed it in front of each other, and while it is embarrassing we laugh and help each other up again. It becomes a memory we share. When we have food on our face, we help each other wipe it off. Our embarrassing and vulnerable moments are not used as a way to keep score or to hold it against each other. In fact, they are the perfect opportunity to show our love. I mean, let's be honest; humans are full of imperfection and life is made of plenty of less than awesome moments. We all want someone who has our back no matter what and will always be ready to shower us with love and care.
Cosmo had oodles and oodles of fashion advice, one of which was showing lots of skin to enhance your sex appeal. Here's what I saw: LADIES! GET NAKED SO YOU CAN BE ATTRACTIVE. Okay, maybe it wasn't quite that extreme, but it sure was close! The message was that showing lots of skin is attractive to men and will grab the attention of a guy who will love you. That sort of advice is extremely off base. Jordan has told me on more than one occasion that he likes the way I dress and finds me attractive no matter what. I believe him, and I dress in a way that respects my body while bringing out my femininity. Heaven forbid Cosmo found out, but my lover thinks I'm sexy with clothes on! Who would have thought?! Modesty is the bigger draw to men that will love you in a selflessly forever sort of way.
The other main issue I have with Cosmopolitan is how they make a commodity out of sex. That is, they condone porn as a natural need for men and test drive sex is a normal part of dating. Both of these are horrendous lies. Porn is not a need. It is an exploitation of those in the industry and of the consumers. While it is true that men have a natural desire to be loved physically (and the visual aspects that go with it), that need is best met through knowing and loving one woman to the fullest extent. Jordan's need to love me as his beloved is met best within marriage because it frees us. He can see, touch, and feel me. I'm not a generated or airbrushed image on a screen. I'm a person that he can give himself to sexually, but I can also meet his need to listen when he's upset, make him food when he's hungry, create children with him when God calls us to make a family, and hold him when he's hurting. Those are needs that porn will never fill. The fact that Cosmo condones the consumption of porn even within a relationship is simply ludicrous.
Test drive sex is an idea that initially makes sense until you actually start to think about it. Then it becomes unthinkable. First of all, humans aren't cars. Second of all, sex is something you're constantly getting better at. It's a journey that is meant to be explored and taken with one person, your spouse. I wouldn't want to marry someone who had this philosophy throughout their dating experience and wonder if they're comparing our bedroom experience to the ones he has had in the past. It leads to great insecurity within a marriage, which is an institution that is not meant to have any insecurity. Jordan and I see these things the same way, which has made our vocational journey so much easier! By not taking each other for a "test drive," we've found so many other ways to love each other that will carry over into our marriage. We have found that hand holding and kisses on the nose, cheek, and forehead convey an insane amount of love. The best part is we can do it in public! The fact is, a majority of human life is spent not having sex. It actually takes up a very small percentage of your time. That's why it's so important to explore with your significant other the different and unique ways to express the love you share that don't require getting naked. Jordan and I love to use music to bond and worship the Lord. That's special to us and grows our love for each other and for God. If only Cosmo had that sort of relationship advice.
Basically, this has been a vent post in which I tried to use my experience with secular advice to shine a light on how amazing marital love is meant to be. Thanks for reading!
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