Why We NFP: An Engaged Couple's Perspective
NFP. Natural Family Planning. Mucus. Sympto Thermal. Creighton. Basal temp. Charting. Sex. Abstain. Babies. Lots of words get thrown around along with the topic of NFP, or Natural Family Planning. What is it, and why would it be important to Jordan and me when we aren't even married yet?
There are so many reasons that Jordan and I practice and believe in NFP. I could talk and talk about it, but I'll just touch on a few main reasons we do it. First, though, let me give a general overview of what NFP actually is because it is widely misunderstood.
Natural Family Planning is a method of guiding married couples' physical intimacy that focuses on the signs a woman's body gives throughout her cycle so that together they can choose to participate in the marital act during appropriate times for their intentions of having a child. It also is used to forge a stronger bond between the husband and wife by encouraging communication and other ways of intimacy (spiritual, emotional...) if and when their life circumstances require abstinence from sex.
In simple speak, if you want a baby, have sex during fertile time and don't if you don't. Outside the fertile period, get as frisky as you want! NFP is also used to pay attention to the gynecological health of the woman. The practice of NFP is credited for the discovery, and thereby treatment, of many reproductive diseases and disorders in couples. It isn't Catholic contraception because there are no barriers (physical or chemical) used in its practice. It is natural, healthy, simple, and fun!
If NFP is for married couples, then why are Jordan and I doing NFP right now? Well, given our life situation for the next year or so, we know that having a child from the get-go would not be wise, so we want to make sure that we can have the most accurate way of avoiding a pregnancy once we're married, in addition to practicing a method that will make us a stronger couple. The longer you do something, the better at it you'll be, so I have been charting (AKA tracking my cycle and writing down what goes on in it) for years now.
I want to know my body as well as I can! Not just for the purpose of pregnancy planning, but also to be aware of what my normal body function is and then notice if something gets out of whack. A woman's reproductive system is very telling of an abnormality in body and/or mind, so knowing your normal is quite beneficial to overall heath.
Since getting engaged, Jordan and I have had many conversations about my body, what my signs are, what's unique to me, and what our future will look like once married. These are super important conversations to have when engaged! In the 9ish months we've been practicing this as a couple, he has already gotten so familiar with my cycle and can help me work through things with it. Not to mention, we are child free! LOL, did I mention abstinence is part of NFP? 100% effectiveness in our relationship (I mean, we're waiting till our wedding night so it'd better be)!
Another reason we practice NFP is respect for our bodies and the way God made them, especially mine. Artificial contraception is damaging to a woman's body because of the alteration of her hormones and often covers up disorders, treating symptoms rather than the actual problem. In addition, it can be the source of issues within relationships due to the hormone change, even going so far as changing the type of man the woman is attracted to! Sex is not meant to have barriers because sex is a total self gift. Physical barriers like condoms or diaphragms prevent the complete giving of spouses.
Jordan's perspective on NFP is pretty straightforward. He pays attention to my cycle and my body in order to responsibly discern how to grow our family and be intimate with me. He also sees a woman's body and its processes as perfectly designed by God, so we shouldn't mess with it by adding hormones that are not needed. See? This post would have been really short had he written it! ;)
Practicing NFP as an engaged couple has brought us a lot closer than I could have ever imagined. We can talk about my body functions in all their glory without being grossed or weirded out. We keep deepening our intimacy without having sex because we are communicating so much about such a personal topic. It is preparing us in self control for the times we should not add a child to our family and must abstain from sex. I am confident that because we are already having conversations like this, our wedding night will not be the awkward experience everyone talks about virgins having. Finally, practicing NFP together provides us with a deep sense of security in our relationship. If talking about cervical mucus doesn't scare a person away, nothing will!
I love NFP, so please feel free to contact me if you want to talk about it further!
There are so many reasons that Jordan and I practice and believe in NFP. I could talk and talk about it, but I'll just touch on a few main reasons we do it. First, though, let me give a general overview of what NFP actually is because it is widely misunderstood.
Natural Family Planning is a method of guiding married couples' physical intimacy that focuses on the signs a woman's body gives throughout her cycle so that together they can choose to participate in the marital act during appropriate times for their intentions of having a child. It also is used to forge a stronger bond between the husband and wife by encouraging communication and other ways of intimacy (spiritual, emotional...) if and when their life circumstances require abstinence from sex.
In simple speak, if you want a baby, have sex during fertile time and don't if you don't. Outside the fertile period, get as frisky as you want! NFP is also used to pay attention to the gynecological health of the woman. The practice of NFP is credited for the discovery, and thereby treatment, of many reproductive diseases and disorders in couples. It isn't Catholic contraception because there are no barriers (physical or chemical) used in its practice. It is natural, healthy, simple, and fun!
If NFP is for married couples, then why are Jordan and I doing NFP right now? Well, given our life situation for the next year or so, we know that having a child from the get-go would not be wise, so we want to make sure that we can have the most accurate way of avoiding a pregnancy once we're married, in addition to practicing a method that will make us a stronger couple. The longer you do something, the better at it you'll be, so I have been charting (AKA tracking my cycle and writing down what goes on in it) for years now.
I want to know my body as well as I can! Not just for the purpose of pregnancy planning, but also to be aware of what my normal body function is and then notice if something gets out of whack. A woman's reproductive system is very telling of an abnormality in body and/or mind, so knowing your normal is quite beneficial to overall heath.
Since getting engaged, Jordan and I have had many conversations about my body, what my signs are, what's unique to me, and what our future will look like once married. These are super important conversations to have when engaged! In the 9ish months we've been practicing this as a couple, he has already gotten so familiar with my cycle and can help me work through things with it. Not to mention, we are child free! LOL, did I mention abstinence is part of NFP? 100% effectiveness in our relationship (I mean, we're waiting till our wedding night so it'd better be)!
Another reason we practice NFP is respect for our bodies and the way God made them, especially mine. Artificial contraception is damaging to a woman's body because of the alteration of her hormones and often covers up disorders, treating symptoms rather than the actual problem. In addition, it can be the source of issues within relationships due to the hormone change, even going so far as changing the type of man the woman is attracted to! Sex is not meant to have barriers because sex is a total self gift. Physical barriers like condoms or diaphragms prevent the complete giving of spouses.
Jordan's perspective on NFP is pretty straightforward. He pays attention to my cycle and my body in order to responsibly discern how to grow our family and be intimate with me. He also sees a woman's body and its processes as perfectly designed by God, so we shouldn't mess with it by adding hormones that are not needed. See? This post would have been really short had he written it! ;)
Practicing NFP as an engaged couple has brought us a lot closer than I could have ever imagined. We can talk about my body functions in all their glory without being grossed or weirded out. We keep deepening our intimacy without having sex because we are communicating so much about such a personal topic. It is preparing us in self control for the times we should not add a child to our family and must abstain from sex. I am confident that because we are already having conversations like this, our wedding night will not be the awkward experience everyone talks about virgins having. Finally, practicing NFP together provides us with a deep sense of security in our relationship. If talking about cervical mucus doesn't scare a person away, nothing will!
I love NFP, so please feel free to contact me if you want to talk about it further!
Mikaela, your blogs are so beautiful. It is so refreshing to read such an honest perspective on living the teachings of the Church! Thank you for your witness to other young adults in the Catholic faith. God bless you and Jordan!
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for your kind words! I pray that God can shine through what I write and speak to my readers.
Delete