Year 1
I am still in shock that Jordan and I have been married for a year already. It feels like 3 months, if that. As cliche as it sounds, marriage is everything I had ever imagined and more. It helps that I have the most amazing husband and we have an awesome support system surrounding us. We've gone through a lot in the past 12 months, both good and bad. Whenever I sum up our experiences to people, I'm usually met with wide eyes and a "wow." Not every marriage has multiple moves, new jobs, a death of a friend, a fixer upper house project, a serious accident of a sibling, many new health diagnoses, and cross country trips (among lots of other things) within the first 365 days. It has been a whirlwind, for sure! As crazy as it has been, I wouldn't have it any other way. As I write this in bed next to my love, I feel compelled to share what wisdom we have gained from this past year.
1. Marriage is worth waiting for. Every single minute. This is in regards to both sex and the relationship that is marriage. I've said before that Jordan and I were both virgins before we got married, and not once have we regretted that decision. Physical intimacy is something that you only share with your spouse, and it is so very special! Marriage is a sacred relationship between husband, wife, and God. No other relationship is that way. Not dating, not engagement. Just marriage. The physical, emotional, and spiritual aspects of marriage are unlike any other, and it requires the grace of the Sacrament to be successful. Getting your spouse to Heaven is serious business. What a blessing it is to share it with the one person you love the most.
2. Your spouse is not God. Seems obvious, but this is a tough one. An easy trap to fall into is leaning on your spouse alone when in reality you both need to be leaning on God. A song by Skillet was playing tonight, and it really hit me. The lyrics speak of the Lord as "the One who holds the stars.... [who] can calm the raging sea [and] calm the storm in me." The inner struggles I have can only be taken care of by God, and He can do so with ease! Jordan is great, and can often help me through things (being used as God's vessel), but the actual Fixer is the Lord.
3. God's plan is always the best plan. So many things this year have not gone the way we'd hoped or thought they would. It's always tough in the moment, but in hindsight we always see that whatever we went through was all part of the elaborate plan God has for us. It's all part of our story. Even the times that made us want to run a sledgehammer (or our heads) through a wall from frustration or hurt, always proved to be blessings in disguise. On the flip side, we have had many incredible experiences that immediately made our eyes turn toward Heaven. It takes quite a bit of effort to turn to God in all things and trust that He has the steering wheel. This is a practice I am still working on. When I do hand over control, though, His blessings are magnified.
4. The Honeymoon Phase is stupid. In our view, you are either in awe and gratitude that God brought you and your spouse together in marriage or you are not. It's that simple. Sacraments are meant to change your life! Marriage is a new and permanent state of life until death parts the two of you. The way you view that covenant should never change.
5. You're friends before lovers. We will forever stand by the "friends first" piece of advice. This can be accomplished even if you meet on a blind date. There are times when you simply cannot be lovers. It may not be appropriate or physically possible during certain periods of time. That is perfectly natural. For example, acting out the marital embrace while driving down the highway is not appropriate, but talking about politics or your day at work is. Being able to have a plain old conversation is actually quite important. If you can't successfully talk about day to day items, you won't be able to talk about your love life or how to parent a child.
6. You and your spouse are each other's safe place and support. It's you two against the world. Unfortunately, we live in a culture that is hostile to marriage. You will be attacked. Your marriage will always be under fire. The only people who can defend it are you and your spouse, alongside the Lord. Fortunately, His grace (especially those from the Sacrament) are enough to kick Satan's rear. If one person with their eyes on the Lord can keep the Devil at bay, a devout husband and wife duo can wipe the floor with him.
7. Marriage takes effort, but it isn't 'work'. There's this awesome quote I once heard back in grade school: ''Choose a job you love and you'll never work a day in your life.'' Now, this is referring to an occupation, not the vocation of marriage. However, the idea applies. If you and your spouse love each other and are committed to having a successful marriage, it isn't work. It will take effort, but it isn't 'work'. When you have two people whose lives are forever entwined, effort is required to make things go smoothly.
8. Your marriage is yours, and yours alone. No friend or family member or person on the street has the authority to tell you how to do your marriage. Focus on God together, and go from there.
So that's that. Year 1 in the books. Thank you for being on this journey with us!
1. Marriage is worth waiting for. Every single minute. This is in regards to both sex and the relationship that is marriage. I've said before that Jordan and I were both virgins before we got married, and not once have we regretted that decision. Physical intimacy is something that you only share with your spouse, and it is so very special! Marriage is a sacred relationship between husband, wife, and God. No other relationship is that way. Not dating, not engagement. Just marriage. The physical, emotional, and spiritual aspects of marriage are unlike any other, and it requires the grace of the Sacrament to be successful. Getting your spouse to Heaven is serious business. What a blessing it is to share it with the one person you love the most.
2. Your spouse is not God. Seems obvious, but this is a tough one. An easy trap to fall into is leaning on your spouse alone when in reality you both need to be leaning on God. A song by Skillet was playing tonight, and it really hit me. The lyrics speak of the Lord as "the One who holds the stars.... [who] can calm the raging sea [and] calm the storm in me." The inner struggles I have can only be taken care of by God, and He can do so with ease! Jordan is great, and can often help me through things (being used as God's vessel), but the actual Fixer is the Lord.
3. God's plan is always the best plan. So many things this year have not gone the way we'd hoped or thought they would. It's always tough in the moment, but in hindsight we always see that whatever we went through was all part of the elaborate plan God has for us. It's all part of our story. Even the times that made us want to run a sledgehammer (or our heads) through a wall from frustration or hurt, always proved to be blessings in disguise. On the flip side, we have had many incredible experiences that immediately made our eyes turn toward Heaven. It takes quite a bit of effort to turn to God in all things and trust that He has the steering wheel. This is a practice I am still working on. When I do hand over control, though, His blessings are magnified.
4. The Honeymoon Phase is stupid. In our view, you are either in awe and gratitude that God brought you and your spouse together in marriage or you are not. It's that simple. Sacraments are meant to change your life! Marriage is a new and permanent state of life until death parts the two of you. The way you view that covenant should never change.
5. You're friends before lovers. We will forever stand by the "friends first" piece of advice. This can be accomplished even if you meet on a blind date. There are times when you simply cannot be lovers. It may not be appropriate or physically possible during certain periods of time. That is perfectly natural. For example, acting out the marital embrace while driving down the highway is not appropriate, but talking about politics or your day at work is. Being able to have a plain old conversation is actually quite important. If you can't successfully talk about day to day items, you won't be able to talk about your love life or how to parent a child.
6. You and your spouse are each other's safe place and support. It's you two against the world. Unfortunately, we live in a culture that is hostile to marriage. You will be attacked. Your marriage will always be under fire. The only people who can defend it are you and your spouse, alongside the Lord. Fortunately, His grace (especially those from the Sacrament) are enough to kick Satan's rear. If one person with their eyes on the Lord can keep the Devil at bay, a devout husband and wife duo can wipe the floor with him.
7. Marriage takes effort, but it isn't 'work'. There's this awesome quote I once heard back in grade school: ''Choose a job you love and you'll never work a day in your life.'' Now, this is referring to an occupation, not the vocation of marriage. However, the idea applies. If you and your spouse love each other and are committed to having a successful marriage, it isn't work. It will take effort, but it isn't 'work'. When you have two people whose lives are forever entwined, effort is required to make things go smoothly.
8. Your marriage is yours, and yours alone. No friend or family member or person on the street has the authority to tell you how to do your marriage. Focus on God together, and go from there.
So that's that. Year 1 in the books. Thank you for being on this journey with us!
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