What Am I Living For?
I have been blessed (or cursed?) with the ability to vividly recall many of my dreams, even years after dreaming them. Sometimes they are the good, exciting dreams, but most often they tend to be my nightmares. My most recent nightmare happened this weekend and involved me getting mortally injured and the intense need to say goodbye to my family. The thing is, I never died. I kept going to different places to find different family members, all the while dying, but never actually passing away. The same night I had another dream. A murderer was after me, and I was dying in that one, too. This time, the murderer killed someone else and I managed to get away, but still dying. Needless to say, I woke up having cried in my sleep and having gotten no rest that night.
I watched an episode of my favorite TV show last night, and at the very end, one of my top 3 favorite characters in the show died. His wife had just given birth to their first child and he was on his way to tell their family the news. He was in a car accident. Dead on the scene.
What in the world do these two things have to do with each other? Mortality.
Like most people, I don't enjoy the thought of dying. However, I still think about it. My thoughts generally consist of dread of the pain of dying or leaving my loved ones behind. Normally, I also think of Heaven and Hell, with the perhaps wrong (though I hope it's true) assumption I will spend eternity in Heaven after I die. My dream gave me a rather rude awakening. Sorry for the pun... Anyway, I realized that I am most definitely NOT ready to die. If I were to pass away tonight, I would leave many things for my family to button up, people unsure of my love and respect for them, and to be completely honest, I don't know that God would let me into Heaven. That left me depressed and unsure of what I'm really living for; myself or God?
My TV show reminded my that your death and mine can come at any moment. Absolutely any moment. So often, we put things off until later when later may never come. That is a really frightening concept. It brings me back to the question, "What am I living for?"
What am I living for, exactly? Ultimately, I try to live for God. I try to be a good person, kind to others and living as selflessly as a person can in this world. Unfortunately, I fail miserably sometimes. I'm not always happy, I worry a lot, and there are some people I just can't get along with no matter how hard I try! These dreams and TV episode got me all upset and distracted. On my way home today, I realized that although death and mortality are morbid subjects and difficult to handle, I am wasting the life I have now by worrying and upsetting myself over it. It won't get me anywhere. Not only that, but death is the gateway to eternal LIFE! Death's purpose is to hold us accountable for the life we are leading on Earth and to carry us into our Lord's arms when the time comes. Life is joyful. Death can be, too. You simply have to accept that death is inevitable and you need to be ready when it's your turn.
What you should get out of this post is this: mortality is real. It's a hard topic to deal with, but death has a purpose. Only you can live your life, and only you can decide who or what you're living for. I choose to live for God. I choose to be happy with the life I have right now, to live like every moment is my last, and to prepare myself for the day when, Lord willing, I see Jesus face-to-face.
I watched an episode of my favorite TV show last night, and at the very end, one of my top 3 favorite characters in the show died. His wife had just given birth to their first child and he was on his way to tell their family the news. He was in a car accident. Dead on the scene.
What in the world do these two things have to do with each other? Mortality.
Like most people, I don't enjoy the thought of dying. However, I still think about it. My thoughts generally consist of dread of the pain of dying or leaving my loved ones behind. Normally, I also think of Heaven and Hell, with the perhaps wrong (though I hope it's true) assumption I will spend eternity in Heaven after I die. My dream gave me a rather rude awakening. Sorry for the pun... Anyway, I realized that I am most definitely NOT ready to die. If I were to pass away tonight, I would leave many things for my family to button up, people unsure of my love and respect for them, and to be completely honest, I don't know that God would let me into Heaven. That left me depressed and unsure of what I'm really living for; myself or God?
My TV show reminded my that your death and mine can come at any moment. Absolutely any moment. So often, we put things off until later when later may never come. That is a really frightening concept. It brings me back to the question, "What am I living for?"
What am I living for, exactly? Ultimately, I try to live for God. I try to be a good person, kind to others and living as selflessly as a person can in this world. Unfortunately, I fail miserably sometimes. I'm not always happy, I worry a lot, and there are some people I just can't get along with no matter how hard I try! These dreams and TV episode got me all upset and distracted. On my way home today, I realized that although death and mortality are morbid subjects and difficult to handle, I am wasting the life I have now by worrying and upsetting myself over it. It won't get me anywhere. Not only that, but death is the gateway to eternal LIFE! Death's purpose is to hold us accountable for the life we are leading on Earth and to carry us into our Lord's arms when the time comes. Life is joyful. Death can be, too. You simply have to accept that death is inevitable and you need to be ready when it's your turn.
What you should get out of this post is this: mortality is real. It's a hard topic to deal with, but death has a purpose. Only you can live your life, and only you can decide who or what you're living for. I choose to live for God. I choose to be happy with the life I have right now, to live like every moment is my last, and to prepare myself for the day when, Lord willing, I see Jesus face-to-face.
Comments
Post a Comment