My Best Thing
I was just taking a shower, and it felt like a lightening bolt hit me. God hit me that hard. If you read my previous piece, you'll know that I recently had a personal encounter with Him. Since then, I've felt something different in my life. Something has been brewing. A thought. A realization. An awakening. And I finally got it!!!
I've been looking at my vocation wrong.
For my entire life, I've only ever wanted to be a wife and a mother. To me, those things were inseparable. I think that's why I've been taking this infertility thing so hard. I have been feeling like such a failure as a woman and as a wife. I felt like the cars my dad works on that keep coming back with one more thing wrong with them. Since Wednesday, though, I have been looking at circumstances in a different light. This week is National Marriage Week. It ends on St. Valentine's Day. These things got my gears turning...what if God has been trying to tell me that marriage isn't just about bringing children into the world?
Dude.
God got me. Now, I know that one of the major callings of marriage is to have children and raise them to get them to Heaven. That's the biological end goal of sex, after all. But before sex brings about conception, before that little human makes its appearance on the outside, there are 2 people and God. And that's it.
The other main aspect of sex, of the marital embrace, is to bond the couple to each other. It's science. It's wonderful. The release of oxytocin, the binding (and blinding) hormone, is released during intercourse, which makes it the primary end of the act. It is the first thing that binds a man and woman together after taking their vows as husband and wife. Not children.
That sounds kind of harsh since we always get bashed over the head with talk of child rearing being the major thing married people are called to. It is really important, don't get me wrong, but it isn't the most important thing husbands and wives do. The most important thing spouses can do is get each other to Heaven.
That's it. My main goal on Earth now is to get Jordan to the Big House with me. Whether we have children or not, we are responsible for each other's souls.
Couples called to parenthood become responsible for the souls of their children, as well, but if you aren't trying to get the person you married to Heaven how can you expect to get your offspring there? Humans follow examples. My parents have done a fantastic job of helping my siblings and I cultivate a faith of our own, but the best way they did it was by putting their marriage before us. They know that their relationship is the most important thing that God gave them to nurture and protect. And by doing that, it gave way to a strong family unit built upon two people who fell in love and are relying on God to keep their marriage Heaven-bound. Marriage is the most tangible sign that people see every day of God's love for us. When a husband loves his wife the way it was intended, they create an image of the Father's love. I feel Jordan's love so closely, but I know that what we share doesn't hold a candle to God's love.
Jordan and I have not yet had the privilege of conceiving a child. However, we have been given the most wonderful gift of our marriage. The gift of taking part in the best adventure, the journey toward Heaven. If we don't both end up there someday, then nothing I ever did on this Earth mattered.
Marriage isn't for the faint of heart. Satan is constantly trying to tear spouses apart, to take others down with him. I have decided to draw a line in the sand. Both of us have. If a decision we make or if a person we know or if a choice in our path comes up that will damage our marriage in any way, we will not risk it. It is too important. Nothing is more important than our marriage. Within the castle we've built lies our faith in each other and the Lord. Our castle, our marriage, houses a place to comfort, cherish, and lead each other to holiness. God is right there with us.
My husband is my greatest treasure. He's not perfect, and neither am I. We don't have a perfect marriage; nobody does. But every day I wake up I choose to say yes again. I choose to live by my vows. Our marriage isn't just a good thing, or even a great thing; it's my best thing.
I've been looking at my vocation wrong.
For my entire life, I've only ever wanted to be a wife and a mother. To me, those things were inseparable. I think that's why I've been taking this infertility thing so hard. I have been feeling like such a failure as a woman and as a wife. I felt like the cars my dad works on that keep coming back with one more thing wrong with them. Since Wednesday, though, I have been looking at circumstances in a different light. This week is National Marriage Week. It ends on St. Valentine's Day. These things got my gears turning...what if God has been trying to tell me that marriage isn't just about bringing children into the world?
Dude.
God got me. Now, I know that one of the major callings of marriage is to have children and raise them to get them to Heaven. That's the biological end goal of sex, after all. But before sex brings about conception, before that little human makes its appearance on the outside, there are 2 people and God. And that's it.
The other main aspect of sex, of the marital embrace, is to bond the couple to each other. It's science. It's wonderful. The release of oxytocin, the binding (and blinding) hormone, is released during intercourse, which makes it the primary end of the act. It is the first thing that binds a man and woman together after taking their vows as husband and wife. Not children.
That sounds kind of harsh since we always get bashed over the head with talk of child rearing being the major thing married people are called to. It is really important, don't get me wrong, but it isn't the most important thing husbands and wives do. The most important thing spouses can do is get each other to Heaven.
That's it. My main goal on Earth now is to get Jordan to the Big House with me. Whether we have children or not, we are responsible for each other's souls.
Couples called to parenthood become responsible for the souls of their children, as well, but if you aren't trying to get the person you married to Heaven how can you expect to get your offspring there? Humans follow examples. My parents have done a fantastic job of helping my siblings and I cultivate a faith of our own, but the best way they did it was by putting their marriage before us. They know that their relationship is the most important thing that God gave them to nurture and protect. And by doing that, it gave way to a strong family unit built upon two people who fell in love and are relying on God to keep their marriage Heaven-bound. Marriage is the most tangible sign that people see every day of God's love for us. When a husband loves his wife the way it was intended, they create an image of the Father's love. I feel Jordan's love so closely, but I know that what we share doesn't hold a candle to God's love.
Jordan and I have not yet had the privilege of conceiving a child. However, we have been given the most wonderful gift of our marriage. The gift of taking part in the best adventure, the journey toward Heaven. If we don't both end up there someday, then nothing I ever did on this Earth mattered.
Marriage isn't for the faint of heart. Satan is constantly trying to tear spouses apart, to take others down with him. I have decided to draw a line in the sand. Both of us have. If a decision we make or if a person we know or if a choice in our path comes up that will damage our marriage in any way, we will not risk it. It is too important. Nothing is more important than our marriage. Within the castle we've built lies our faith in each other and the Lord. Our castle, our marriage, houses a place to comfort, cherish, and lead each other to holiness. God is right there with us.
My husband is my greatest treasure. He's not perfect, and neither am I. We don't have a perfect marriage; nobody does. But every day I wake up I choose to say yes again. I choose to live by my vows. Our marriage isn't just a good thing, or even a great thing; it's my best thing.
I promise to be true to you in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health. I will love you and honor you all the days of my life.
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