Legitly Feminist

  I have this problem with modern feminism. Well, specifically secular, modern feminism. It has such a narrow view of life, and it's actually a very selfish view. Let me back up a bit by saying that I consider myself to have feminist viewpoints in that I believe women are all valuable and unique and should be treated with respect at all times. I am not in favor of the potty mouth, man shaming, vagina hat wearing, gender nonconforming movement that masquerades as feminism.

  Before you stop reading because you're upset at me, ask yourself something. Look into your heart for a moment. Allow yourself to be brought back to the most hurtful thing anyone has ever done to you. Remember how you felt? See how you've carried those scars all this time?

  Would you want to inflict that sort of pain on anyone else?

  Any sane person would of course never want to do that to someone else after walking though it themselves, whatever the experience was. Unless you're a masochist.... Anyway, it's like if you hit a monster pothole and totaled your car. You'd probably tell everyone to avoid that certain stretch of road because you don't want other drivers to have the same thing happen to them.

  That's kind of a strange comparison, but hear me out.

  The other aspect of true feminism is understanding how the two sexes fit together, and that both sides are to be loved and respected. We're supposed to look out for each other. The correct response to injustices is to learn from them and to ensure they are not repeated. For whatever reason, many women feel they are exempt from this and shoot daggers and atrocities at any white dude that walks on the sidewalk too closely or dares to voice an opinion on a topic that has anything to do with a female.

  Classic case of repaying evil with evil. Spoiler alert: it never works out.

  I'm gonna jump to gender roles for a sec here, because, surprise, each gender is genetically wired toward certain actions. Women are receivers by nature and men are givers. Women tend to nurture and men tend to protect. It's not that women can't be givers or protectors, because they can, but it isn't our go to. There are many other examples of our bodies, minds, and emotions following a particular role. Femininity and masculinity can only be understood when both sides are present. You can't have north without south, left without right, or light without dark. We need men and women to be as they are meant to be.

  Modern feminism also tends to have a can or cannot attitude, rather than a should or should not. It's more forceful and pervasive that necessary. Feminazis would love to take credit for the fact that my husband does dishes and vacuums, because "housework isn't just the woman's job." Hate to break it to ya, but that isn't why he does those things. It's because I hate doing dishes and I don't often have the energy to clean. On the flip side, he doesn't like doing laundry. But I do. And *gasp* I actually vacuum, too. We don't share the housework to be nonconformists, though. We do it because it helps our home run more smoothly and because we love each other.

  Wait. Can the two sexes actually get along?? Is there a secret formula or incantation?!

  I mean, if you count love as one of those things, then I guess so. That's really it. We just need to love each other. Not the lovey dovey type, but the actual willing the good of another person type love. Evil is a cyclic problem; one person's decision can stop it from going another round and sucking someone else in. I've experienced seemingly insurmountable hurt recently, and was left with a choice. Do I repay that in hate or in love. I could have easily chosen hate; part of me wanted to. But what good would that have done? Instead, I decided to break the pattern and choose love.

  What does this have to do with feminism? All women have had something unfortunate happen to them at one point or another, whether that be a catcall, unwarranted whistle, workplace harassment, assault, or abuse. What do we do about that? We could fan the flames by telling men they don't understand or being cruel to them in return. We could become like the people who hurt us, degrading ourselves and others as a way to process our pain. Or we could respond with charity. We could call others to rise up against evil, rather than against people. 

  A war like this cannot be won when the two halves of humanity are slated against each other. You can't play baseball if you only have the bat and no ball. We need each other. We need our differences to balance each other out. So, if you're actually a feminist in the truest sense, lift your brothers and sisters up! Help them to become their best self. Good repays good one hundredfold.