That's All

  This has been a tough week; I won't lie to you. One of our friends passed away completely unexpectedly, it was my uncle's 15 year death anniversary, and our country reached lows that no American could possibly be okay with. My Type A/mom/anxiety brain has been in overdrive, so naturally I haven't slept very well. You could say that 2021 is not off to a great start when you look at all that's been happening.

 

  It's caused me to do some real soul searching, especially the death of our friend. We shouldn't have had 2 friends our age die in as many years, but here we are. My uncle should have just celebrated his 60th birthday with us, but he's gone, too. Honestly, I'm having a hard time even writing this because I just can't pin my thoughts down. They keep ping ponging around, jumping from subject to subject. There is a common theme, though, and it's one that has been coming up even before this week.

 

  Focus on the right things.

 

  That's the best way for me to sum it up. Specifically, I want to focus more on getting myself and my little family to Heaven. I am going to do whatever it takes to make that happen. It's easy to forget that it's really our only objective here. If what I'm doing every day isn't pushing me toward eternity with God, and toward bringing my husband and daughter with me, what exactly am I doing?? I've let some vices take hold of me over the past year, specifically negative and profane speech, judgmental thoughts, and spiritual laziness. I would love to blame it all on 2020, but the fault rests on me.  I've chosen to give in to them. But my daughter is watching and listening. What am I teaching her? Am I showing her how to strive for sainthood or how to follow a path of destruction?

 

  When I think about the life of our friend, it is so obvious that he is a saint. There is no doubt in my mind. In fact, all three of the passed men mentioned in this post are, I believe, in Heaven with Jesus. They loved Him, and their lives reflected that..... but does mine? When I'm face to face with the Lord, will I be able to say that I did my best? Right now, I'm not so sure.

 

  But I'm going to change that. 

 

  Our political and social atmospheres are saturated with hatred and negativity. We are all guilty of adding fuel to the fire in that regard. It's just at a boiling point right now, and it's becoming more and more obvious that the only way it's going to change is if we each have a conversion within our own hearts. It's disgusting that everything is polarized; nobody wants to agree, or even agree to disagree, anymore. There is no room for respectful discussion, and there hasn't been for awhile. There is more emphasis on virtue signaling rather than living virtuously. We can change the culture tide for the better by our daily decisions to do the next right thing. That's all.